Written By Amy Reinhardt
Why? This one-worded question seeks understanding.
When it is what we do not like, cannot change, and do not understand, we want to know why. Unfortunately, we don’t usually get an explanation. It’s better to trust that God has a plan. He will bring goodness out of the confusing, exhausting, difficult mess that is our life.
I’ve spent 12 months trying to understand my diagnosis. Why did my kidneys fail in the first place? And most recently, why can’t I find a medication to solve my restless legs?
Despair comes when I wallow in these questions. I focus on the why and never reach the answer. I soon become distant from God, stuck in a cycle of agitation and anger.
Chronic kidney disease is an obstacle I cannot change. It’s one I do not understand, even a year later. And I definitely do not like it.
When I yearn for understanding, I need Jesus. He gives me peace and lets me know I’m not alone.
His loving patience tells me I will have answers one day. Though for now, He asks that I offer up these sufferings and draw strength from the cross.
On Tuesday night, I asked again. Why? Why did Value Them Both not pass? Why did so many people vote no on this amendment? I felt the crushing defeat, knowing how hard we worked, prayed, and believed that life would prevail.
We do not understand, do not like, and cannot change the result of the election. It’s difficult to accept the decision made by the majority of Kansans.
I don’t want this heartbreaking defeat to take away our hope. We know God has conquered the world. We must soldier on and be the light, even when it’s hardest. We can trust God will convert the hearts of all those living in darkness.
We may not know why now, but one day, everything will become known. We will have perfect clarity.
Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” (John 13:7)
For now, let’s turn our attention to how we can persevere in the virtuous fight. A fight to defend the sanctity of life and shine a light on goodness, beauty, and truth.
At 28 years old, Amy Reinhardt has been an Ascension parishioner for over half her life. She led Disciples Dwelling and was heavily involved in the young adult ministry up until getting diagnosed with end-stage renal disease. She strives to radiate Christ’s light and love to all who are blessed to know her. If you’d like to read Amy’s health updates: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/amyreinhardt.