“Of course tomorrow is Valentine’s day and Valentine’s Day is a nice break here in the midst of the winter and the cold and it celebrates that gift of love, particularly that gift of romantic love and it’s a good time to take a few moments just to reflect upon that beautiful gift of marriage and the gift of family. For most of you that is your vocation, that is the call that you have to grow in holiness of life through that beautiful school of holiness of marriage and family life and that is such a beautiful calling that you have. There’s a lot of different ways in which we look upon marriage and within our own culture in society certainly that is being more and more accentuated, but according to the civil society actually marriage is just seen as a contract between two individuals that the social body approves and accepts and that is the reason why it can be redefined, the parameters can be changed on it because all it is is a contract from that point of view, a contract that can be made a contract that can be kept a contract that can be broken or dissolved, but it’s just a contract, but as people of faith we look upon marriage in a different way that marriage also has a deeper dimension and that is that it’s a covenant and a covenant means that it’s a more solemn promise that it’s just not for two people, but truly includes a third party, God that God is part of that covenant relationship of marriage and almost all Christian groups would recognize marriage as a covenant, a covenant that has a sacred dimension to it because God is the third party within the marriage relationship, but we as Catholics along with the Orthodox also recognize that there’s another whole dimension to marriage one that is eve greater and more fruitful and that is that marriage is a sacrament. It’s a very living expression of God’s love expressed through human love that at the time of your marriage you were invited to enter into a vocation. It was a calling and Jesus invited you to become a means of reflecting his love, his care, his compassion within your life together that you become that visible expression of Christ’s love to each other and to your children and that you witness to that love to others as well that truly love is…with that relationship and what a tremendously beautiful relationship that is something that is so human and natural becomes something truly divine and supernatural as you welcome God ever more fully into your relationship and you recognize that you truly do reflect that love of Christ daily within that life together and that love of Christ is certainly one that can bring joy and happiness, but also it is a love that is self-giving, that is self-sacrificing. So often when we talk about love we tend to romanticize it rather than thinking about it in terms of its concrete down to earth earthiness and that it involves self-giving, self-sacrifice. It’s within your marriage and your family particularly that you live the paschal mystery, that death and the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, those moments of dying to selfishness and rising to greater life of love that that’s the beauty to which you are called and no one lives that perfectly, but we are all called to be challenged to live that out as we can within our own vocations whatever that may be, but for you as married couples that image of Christ giving himself upon the cross, but also Christ raised up on glory is the call that you have. That’s the model for you within your life in a very special way in your relationship and sometimes obviously there’s challenges within marriage and difficulties and that is part of life itself. I think sometimes we romanticize so much that we think that marriage is going to make us perfectly happy that it’s the perfect resolution that it’s the perfect thing and then when people get into that they realize, no it’s not perfect. I’m not perfectly happy in this and sometimes they become a little too disappointed. I can tell you as a priest I’m very happy as a priest, but I’m not perfectly happy as a priest and I don’t think that any of us find perfect happiness in this world and so therefore we are called to realize that we live with imperfection, we live with the fact that things are not always perfect, but nevertheless things are good and true. Sometimes I mention to couples in doing marriage counseling (and this may sound a little harsh, but when there’s been complaints about a spouse) I say, ‘Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought about the fact your spouse maybe didn’t get the first prize either?’ Sobering for us, but true! None of us is perfect. None of us is and yet we continually strive we continually move forward we continue to make that effort and sometimes for couples when there’s real dysfunctionality within the marriage I encourage you to do several things, but one is what the leper did, came to Jesus and said, ‘You can cure us.’ If couples can come knowing the grace of the sacrament, the grace of the sacrament is there to bring healing if a couple is truly open to it as well as obviously taking advantage of all those human tools that are there to assist and so within those challenges we are called to make positive steps of moving forward and for couples who are married I would hope that sharing Eucharist together is a special moment of intimacy on the spiritual level for you. We talk about marital intimacy and obviously there’s many different expression of that, but for those of us who share in the Eucharist or at least spiritually if not physically being able to experience Jesus in holy communion that hopefully those moments of sharing together in the Eucharist receiving holy communion is a time of true spiritual intimacy and union with Christ and through Christ with each other. That again is the beauty of married life that richer quality that Christ brings to you by inviting you to live out that sacrament of marriage. It’s a beautiful calling. It’s a wonderful gift. Not without its challenges, but also certainly with its rewards with its moments of joy and happiness as well as with moments of challenge. It is the vocation that we have of trying to reflect that inner life of the Trinity itself of loving and caring of growing in holiness through the concrete parts of our daily life. For all of you who are married couples I would invite you on this world marriage weekend to take the opportunity to renew your marriage vows to talk to each other not so much about the romantic part of Valentine’s Day because love is not primarily about red roses and heart shaped boxes of candy. It’s really about a deeper love. It’s about a deeper caring about being there for each other and the challenges and the opportunities of daily life.”