Dear Sisters and Brothers in Christ,
In the Letter to the Hebrews, there is a line that speaks of being made “perfect through suffering.” Suffering? How does suffering bring about perfection? That line is abrasive to modern ears. Yet, we readily acknowledge slogans such as, “no pain – no gain”. If we are honest, we admit that suffering often forces us to change in ways we might not without it.
In today’s Gospel, the Pharisees ask Jesus about the lawfulness of divorce. Jesus’ answer is quite clear, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” Like the reference to suffering in Hebrews, Jesus’ words sound harsh. After all, don’t 50% of marriages end in divorce? (not actually true by the way).
Now, don’t get me wrong. Divorce is a painful reality, and we should show great compassion for victims of divorce, the abandoned spouses and wounded children. There are cases, especially when violence is involved, when the separation of the spouses cannot be avoided.
But Jesus values commitments and wishes us to value them too, even if such commitments call us to endure the pain of personal change.
What seems to underlie the epidemic of divorce today might just be the fear of accepting the suffering and sacrifice that commitment demands. A demand that when embraced by both parties, and with recourse to God’s grace, can result in genuine change in people’s hearts. When both parties choose to change rather than break the marriage commitment, harmony can often be restored.
The demands of commitment may seem impossible for us sinners. But with divine help, all things are possible, and God’s grace, when accepted, can bring genuine change, heal wounds, and restore loving relationship. Pray for married couples that are struggling.
Sincerely yours in Christ Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life,