10 Tips for a Lasting Marriage

  1. Let the Golden Rule reign supreme: Treat your spouse as you would like to be treated. Express gratitude, pay compliments, and do an act of conscious kindness every day.  Pope Francis shared three words that are key to a successful marriage – “permission, gratitude, and forgiveness”. Therefore, be generous in using “may I”, “thank you” and “sorry”!
  2. Know that happiness is not constant, but it is always around the corner: “Happily ever after” is the goal in marriage, but life ebbs and flows.  Have realistic expectations and trust that perseverance through difficulties will be rewarded. 
  3. Communication in both directions:  Go beyond assuming you know your partner’s thoughts and feelings. Communicate by giving equal time to talking and listening. 
  4. Don’t leave pet peeves on the back burner: Small annoyances can grow into big problems if they are not addressed. Let your partner know right away if something bothers you. A good marriage is a “dynamic process” and each partner has to learn to live with imperfections. “Love does not have to be perfect for us to value it” Pope Francis (The Joy of Love)
  5. Know that arguments don’t have to be won: Sometimes your partner just want to be heard and understood. Being objective and open to compromise is more important than right. Do not procrastinate a gesture of peace.
  6. Nurture a spiritual connection: Pray for your spouse and your relationship every day.  “Love that is held together only by the flesh is as fragile as the flesh, but love that is held together by a spiritual oneness and based on a love of a common destiny is truly “until death do us part” – Blessed Bishop Fulton Sheen .
  7. Develop common interests to create lasting bonds: Travel, dance, cook meals together, play a sport or volunteer. Connect with your spouse by sharing something that makes your relationship more personal and special. 
  8. Make dating part of your marriage: Plan special nights with your spouse.  Exclude all distractions including phones. During the date try to learn something that you did not know about your spouse. 
  9. Remember that you are each other’s long term care giver: Take care of yourself for the sake of your spouse.  Maintain your health and physical fitness so you can care for one another in your golden years. 
  10. Believe that marriage is sacred and is a sacrament: Have faith in the sanctity of marriage and your vow of commitment. Work every day at making yourself and your marriage better for the glory of God “When God is at the center of a marriage, full unity of heart, soul and body is possible” – Pope Francis (The Joy of Love)