I am created by relationships. My childhood was full of faithful, loving relationships, and from these I learned how to be a daughter, sister, and friend. Throughout this time I was also learning about my relationship with God. I attended CCD at my parish, but didn’t make it to mass. I slowly became embarrassed to go to mass because I didn’t know the words and I couldn’t sing.

Between 8th and 10th grade I developed some of the most important friendships in my life. It was during this time that I became part of the “sista” group. This group is composed of Susan (the fun one), Erica (the smart one), and Jaime (the innocent one). My parents may have given life to me, but these girls formed who I am today. My life would be completely different if I hadn’t become friends with them. Jaime (the innocent one) was a devout non-denominational Christian and invited me to her youth groups often. I finally agreed to join her once I split with my boyfriend as I was feeling alone, guilty, and brokenhearted. I remember going in and learning about the scripture passage Luke 6:43. “A good tree does not bear rotten fruit, nor does a rotten tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit. For people do not pick figs from thornbushes, nor do they gather grapes from Brambles. A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.”

“When the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they themselves got into boats and came to Capernaum looking for Jesus. And when they found him across the sea they said to him, “Rabbi, when did you get here?” Jesus answered them and said, “Amen, amen I say to you, you are looking for me not because you saw signs but because you ate the loaves and were filled. Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you… So they said to him, “What sign can you do, that we may see and believe in you? What can you do? Our ancestors ate manna in the desert, as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’” So Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave the bread from heaven; my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” So they said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.”Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst….. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate the manna in the desert, but they died; this is the bread that comes down from heaven so that one may eat it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world.” The Jews quarreled among themselves, saying “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him. Just as the living Father sent me and I have life because of the Father, so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died, whoever eats this bread will live forever.”

When I read this, I felt my stomach fall. I read it over and over and the word that burned into my soul was “flesh.” He clarified and changed His wording from “body” to “flesh.” I knew in my heart that it was true and that I had been so wrong. My world came crashing down and all I really knew I believed in was God and Jesus in the Eucharist. A few days later I plucked up enough courage to go to a daily mass at Christ the King. I walked in and sat down alone. There were few people there, and the average age was over 65, so I probably stood out like a sore thumb. I don’t remember much about the homily or the liturgy of the word; but I’ll never forget when I received the Eucharist for the first time again. I felt whole, connected, healed, home. I started crying and remained crying for a few minutes after the mass was over. Raw, I stood up, and before me stood an old woman. She asked me if I would like to go to a Bible study, which was starting in a few minutes. Because of my fondness for elderly people, I agreed. Turned out this Bible study was my welcome home. It also turned out that it was the old woman’s 98th birthday! I would be surprised if the rest of the group was younger than 80. It was a blast. I later recalled something a priest said at my home parish. He was encouraging the parishioners that the young people would someday come back to the church when he said, “The Eucharist will bring them back.”

I am so thankful to God for placing Kerry in my life. Five years later we got married, and now enjoy the true faith together. Our relationship is deepened by our relationship with God and we can hold each other accountable in our faith. This is another great example of how God uses my relationships with others to bring me to Himself.

After the Eucharist brought me back, the Lord had a lot of pruning to do. For one, I had to deal with the pride I had built up when I was anti-Catholic. I thought I was better than Catholics and was judgmental towards others. I had also not been to confession since I was confirmed in 8th grade. Kerry and I went through a very dark time while I was being pruned, and I lashed out and manipulated him often. I even started seeing a psychologist for depression. It truly is a miracle that we stayed together. I started going to mass every Sunday, and often during the week. I went to confession—which took quite a while—but was extremely fruitful. I went on a retreat through the St. Lawrence Center…grace was being poured out over me. During this time I knew only a few things to be true: I believed in God and I believed in the Eucharist. I kept those truths close to my heart and slowly began to see the rest.

Today I truly believe that Catholic beliefs are rooted in truth. When I came forth and gave my life for Christ, God wasn’t finished. Now, I go forth with an act of faith every time that I receive the Eucharist. I’m “saved” every Sunday! You could go on to say that I make a choice to follow God every day, and every moment.