Why Go To Mass?

by Fr. Tom Tank

Not  long ago while visiting with a Catholic, I  was taken back by the question, “Why should I go to Mass?”  My assumption is that Catholics know why they should go to Mass, but maybe I assume too much.  Hence this little piece Why go to Mass?  Every individual sharing in the Mass has his/her own reasons for doing so.  Here are some that deserve some consideration.

♦  GRATITUDE

God gives us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year.  Is it too much to give Him an hour of our time?  God gives us life itself and all our talents and abilities.  Isn’t it only right to say THANK YOU by sharing our time and ourselves with God?

  BALANCE 

We lead hectic lives, running in a thousand directions.  What’s the integrating thread that keeps it all together?  What reminds us what is really important in life and what may be interesting, but superficial? Taking time to draw back and being with God in prayer helps maintain balance and perspective and helps us keep on track.

♦  COMMUNITY PRAYER

Some people say that they can pray better by themselves alone in the woods.  Sometimes I can too.  But that doesn’t take away the need to join with the community in prayer and worship.  In the midst of a world that focuses upon the individual as the center of it all, we need to remember that we are creatures and children of an all-loving God.  We are part of a community of faith that communicates Christ to us and needs us to be active members of Christ’s body.  The Mass is the most perfect form of worship because it is my prayer in union with the prayer of others that is joined withbest prayer ever offered – the sacrifice of Christ on the cross.  No other form of prayer can take the place of Christ’s perfect gift of Himself and His sacrifice represented in the Eucharist.

♦  HEALING

Each of us carries with us some woundedness, hurts from others or our own sinfulness. We need forgiveness and the strength to forgive others.  We need God’s power to flow into our lives healing and renewing us in the spirit of Christ.  The Mass makes real the healing and strengthening presence of Christ whom we experience in Holy Communion as our Brother, our Savior and our God.

♦  EXAMPLE

We lead by the example we give more than by the words that we say.  We can tell our children that we believe in God and are followers of Jesus, but if we don’t take time for God and show our fidelity to Him in prayer and example, our words will be hollow and our example weak.  Our young people learn to value what their parents value.  What are we sharing with our children?

♦  RESPONSIBILITY

We have a serious moral obligation to worship God through active participation in the Eucharist.  To neglect this wonderful prayer and to deny ourselves the grace of the Mass is seriously sinful and is in a way like spiritual suicide.  We have the serious obligation to make use of the means that God has given us to grow in holiness through union with Christ in the Mass and the Sacraments.

♦  CHRIST

We need Christ.  We need a Savior.  We need to know that our life is of value and worth both here on earth and eternally.  We need Christ to keep us going in the right direction with what’s really important in life.  We need a personal relationship with Christ so that His word speaks to us and His presence is felt in our heart.  Christ is truly present in the Eucharist.  He gives his very self to us in Holy Communion.  To be embraced by His loving presence is such a wonderful and awesome gift.  Why deny oneself Someone so great and so loving?

♦  GOD’S COMMANDMENT / JESUS’ REQUEST

“Keep holy the Lord’s Day” is the third commandment.  What better way to do so than to join in the perfect sacrifice, the perfect prayer of Jesus?  Jesus enjoins us “Do this in memory of Me!”  Ultimately we go to Mass as an expression of our desire to really love God with all our heart, soul and mind and that in turn helps us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

On the other hand, I often hear why people don’t go to Mass.  I imagine the reasons are as individual as the person, but here are some common ones.

 ♦  I DON’T GET ANYTHING OUT OF IT

Who ever said you were supposed to?  Do we only do something because we personally get something out of it?  We receive from God every moment of every day; is it too much to do something for God without expecting an immediate return?  We go to Mass to worship God, to thank Him, to draw closer to Him, not to get something more from God who already gives us everything.

♦  TOO MANY HYPOCRITES

Church is not a health spa for saints, but a hospital for sinners.  Yes, we have hypocrites at Church.  Can I say that I have never acted hypocritically?  I wish!  We go to Mass because we are sinners and need God’s grace and strength to live better lives.  If no sinners went to Mass, the church would be empty.  Some people stay away from Mass because they have a hard time with accepting or living some of the teachings of Jesus and the Church.  We need to remind ourselves we are all on a journey.  None of us has it all together yet, but we need to be present and open to Christ who will show us the way and give us the strength.

 ♦  IT’S BORING

For people used to fast action and constant entertainment, the Mass seems boring.  As one young person put it “It’s the same old miracle every time.”  Is it the ‘same old’ or is it the ‘miracle’ that we experience?  The Mass is not entertainment.  It is prayer and worship.  We get out of something what we put into it.  Consciously entering into the miracle of Christ’s love present in the Eucharist will engage our mind and heart, indeed our entire life.

 ♦  I’M TOO BUSY

Most of us are over extended.  We have too many commitments and responsibilities.   Yet can we really be too busy for God?  Is an hour a week too much to give?  If we plan our Sunday around Mass rather than trying to fit Mass into a crowded weekend, we will never be too busy for the Lord.  If we don’t go to Mass, how much time do we really devote to prayer on our own?

♦  I’M LAZY

Yes, most of us are subject to laziness.  It’s part of original sin and we can let ourselves develop some pretty lazy habits.  Laziness can lead to weakening and even loss of faith.  Just as we need to exercise our bodies to keep them strong, we also need to practice faith in order to strengthen it.  The best remedy to laziness is just simply DO IT!

♦  I FEEL GUILTY

When we are not living the life that we know we should, we feel guilty.  Guilt needs to be resolved rather than denied.  We have to face our guilt and seek forgiveness and search for a better way of living.  The Mass will challenge us and remind us of our guilt, but it can also bring us healing forgiveness and new life.

  I AM ANGRY

Unfortunately some have been disappointed and even hurt by the Church or its representatives.  Just as Jesus teaches us to seek forgiveness, He calls us to be forgiving.  Past hurts because of the human side of the Church shouldn’t keep us from experiencing its divine side wherein God shares his very self with us.  St. Paul enjoins us “forgive as the Lord has forgiven you”.

♦  I DON’T NEED IT

“I don’t need the Mass to be a good person.  I can be kind to others without going to church.”  That may be true, but being a nice and kind person is not the essence of being a Christian.  Loving God above all things is.  How am I really showing my love of God above all if I don’t take any time for Him?  And by loving Him we will have greater strength to follow the second commandment, to love our neighbor.

Jesus invites you to join Him each Sunday in prayer.  Come and experience the awe of God’s love and presence in the Eucharist.
Saturday
4:30 p.m.
Sunday
8:15 a.m.
10:00 a.m.
11:45 a.m.
5:00 p.m.
Come to Me and I will bring you strength and peace!

Why go to Mass?  Ultimately each of us answers that question by the choices and decisions we make.  The answer lies in how seriously and personally we take the invitation of Jesus “Do this in memory of Me” and God’s commandment to love Him above all else.  God wants to be central to our lives.  Our choice is to make Him number one!

Ideas On Ways to Celebrate Christmas after December 25th

Celebrate Christmas to the Fullest with These Catholic Traditions

            From the website: http://www.pbgrace.com
 

Family Christmas traditions are a great way to connect, make memories, and grow closer to Christ. Here are 21+ Catholic traditions to choose from this Christmas season.

Family Christmas traditions are a great way to connect with one another, make memories to last a lifetime, and grow closer to Christ. What kind of traditions does your family celebrate?

Whether you’re just starting out or you already have set family traditions, this year, consider trying out some of the Catholic Christmas traditions and customs listed below. In the Latin Rite of the Catholic Church, the Christmas season can last anywhere from to 16 to 22 days, depending on when the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord (marking the end of the season) falls, offering plenty of opportunities to celebrate Christmas long after the stores have switched out their Christmas displays. (Related: How Long Is the Christmas Season?)

A few notes to consider: First, it is good to distinguish between popular customs and formal Church observances. A few Catholic Christmas traditions are obligatory; some are optional; and others are not formally recognized by the Church, but are cultural practices popular in predominantly Catholic places.

Second, don’t expect to try all of these ideas in one year. Sift through them and pick out a handful (or even just one) to try this year; in future years, you can try new traditions.

Most of these traditions focus on the religious celebration of Christmas, but toward the end of this article you’ll find some other non-religious (but fun!) family Christmas traditions to try.

 

Midnight Mass

The very word Christmas comes from the Old English words Crīstes mæss, or Christ-Mass. From ancient times, Mass has been at the heart of the celebration of Christ’s birth. Accordingly, Christmas is a holy day of obligation, on which the Church calls all Catholics to celebrate Mass.

Your parish might celebrate one of four different Masses, each with its own set of readings: the Vigil Mass (held Christmas Eve), Midnight Mass (the “Mass of the Angels”), Dawn Mass (the “Mass of the Shepherds”), and Christmas Day Mass (the “Mass of the Divine Word”). You will hear different readings and liturgical prayers at each of these Masses.

The classic Christmas reading from Luke 2:1-14 is heard at the Midnight Mass (which is often celebrated well before midnight). Midnight Mass is the most elaborate celebration of Christmas, and many parishes pull out all the stops for it. At some point in the life of your family, your kids should get to experience it. While it may be later and longer than a typical Mass, it is often less crowded. If you bring little ones, bring a blanket so they can lay down in the pew.

Many of the strategies that work for a regular Sunday Mass, including previewing the readings with your kids, will also help make your Christmas Mass a more pleasant and meaningful family experience. See Doing Mass with Kids: 25+ Strategies for a Better Experience.

 

Read or chant the announcement of the Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ from the Roman Martyrology

You can find this text, which is most appropriately sung or chanted on Christmas Eve, at the USCCB website. “The announcement of the Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord from the Roman Martyrology draws upon Sacred Scripture to declare in a formal way the birth of Christ,” the USCCB explains. “It begins with creation and relates the birth of the Lord to the major events and personages of sacred and secular history.”

 

Add figures to your manger and bless it

If you have left your manger set or nativity scene mostly empty during Advent (except for the animals, of course!), then you can make a big deal out of adding the angels, shepherds, Mary and Joseph, and other figures on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

You may want to add the baby Jesus overnight on Christmas Eve as a surprise for your children on Christmas morning.

You may also want to place the three kings someplace else in the house at a distance from the manger so that they can “journey” to the manger over the twelve days following Christmas, arriving at the manger on the Feast of Epiphany. (See below.)

If you haven’t already, bless your manger set or nativity scene using this blessing from Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers. Christmas Eve is the suggested time for blessing your manger.

 

Pray before the baby Jesus

“No one, whether shepherd or wise man, can approach God here below except by kneeling before the manger at Bethlehem and adoring him hidden in the weakness of a newborn child.” So says the Catechism of the Catholic Church (#563).

You can take that to heart by encouraging your kids to pray before the baby Jesus in the nativity scene at your church or at your home, either after Christmas Mass or right away on Christmas morning, before opening gifts. You can find a brief Prayer Before a Creche here, or encourage your kids to make up their own prayer.

 

Make your own nativity play

If your parish doesn’t sponsor a nativity play (or even if it does), make your own nativity play at home. This can be a big production (find ready-made scripts online) with costumes and props and so on, or it can be as simple as Mom and Dad (and older siblings) acting out the Christmas story extemporaneously. Young children can be given simple roles to play.

Whether it’s Oscar-worthy or spur-of-the-moment (it’s amazing what you can do with a few sheets and a blanket), re-enacting the Christmas story is a great way to teach kids the true meaning of Christmas. And it might just be a deeply moving experience for the adults involved, too.

 

Decorate and bless your Christmas tree

If you have held off on buying a Christmas tree (or kept it as an Advent tree), then decorate your Christmas tree on Christmas Eve as a sign and celebration of Christ’s arrival. (Take down your Jesse Tree ornaments first!) If you are just getting started with your family Christmas traditions, make your own homemade Christmas ornaments (see below for ideas).

 

Make and light a Christ candle

If your family has enjoyed lighting the Advent wreath, extend the practice by making a Christ candle. Purchase a large white candle, ideally one made for liturgical use (at least 51 percent bees’ wax), and decorate it with the chi rho (the first two letters in the Greek word for Christ) along with the year. Place it in the center of your Advent wreath and light it throughout the Christmas season as a reminder that Christ is the light of the world (John 1).

 

Celebrate the Festival of Lessons and Carols

The Festival of Lessons and Carols is a service of Scripture and song that originated at King’s College, Cambridge, in 1918. The service consists of nine Scripture lessons which recount the Fall, the promise of a Messiah, the Incarnation, and the Great Commission; each lesson is followed by a song that reflects on the lesson’s message, and a brief prayer. Today, the service is broadcast worldwide by the BBC on Christmas Eve, and churches around the world celebrate different versions.

Check to see whether the Festival of Lessons and Carols will be offered by churches in your area. Otherwise, you can use the simple version offered by the USCCB to conduct your own service, or catch it on the BBC World Service; you can find broadcast information at the King’s College website.

 

Do more works of mercy

The message of the Gospel and the call of the Church is unambiguous: fully celebrating Christmas means reaching out to the poor, the oppressed, and all those in need of our help. Model the true spirit of Christmas for your kids by seeking out opportunities to help others throughout the whole Christmas season.

You can download a family calendar for the Christmas season that contains many ideas for doing works of mercy. Some highlights:

  • Pray for Christians being persecuted around the world.
  • Give away things you do not need (and maybe some things that others might need more than you), and renew your commitment to Christian stewardship and simple living.
  • Consider year-end gifts to charitable organizations that help those in need; let your kids help choose a recipient. Better yet, pool your money as a family and decide to give it to a family or organization in your community.
  • Donate goods to your local food shelf, St. Vincent de Paul Society or other charity. Make it a family field trip.
  • Commit to at least one work of mercy as part of your family’s resolutions for the New Year.
  • Observe January as poverty awareness month by using the interactive resources at org.
  • Lobby on behalf of migrants and refugees; the first full week of January is observed as National Migration Week by the Church in the United States.
  • Arrange a group to sing Christmas carols at your local jail, hospital, or nursing home. (Reach out to the organization’s volunteer coordinator.)

 

Mark the feasts of the first martyrs

Right on the heels of Christmas, the Church gives us a trio of martyrs’ feasts. First comes the feast of the first Christian martyr, St. Stephen, on December 26. This is followed on December 27 by the Feast of St. John the Evangelist (another early Christian martyr), and then on December 28 we remember the Feast of the Holy Innocents (the infant-martyrs killed by King Herod as he sought to destroy the Christ child).

What are we supposed to take away from this juxtaposition? Perhaps it is a good reminder that Christmas is more than soft pastels, stars, a cute baby, and Hallmark sentiments. We need Christmas—that is, we need the saving Christ—because we live in a dark and violent world. These feasts also remind us that following Christ means forfeiting our lives in one way or another. Christ has only just arrived on the scene, and already we are called to follow him.

Be sure to note these feasts with your kids. You can find additional resources for celebrating at the USCCB Christmas website:

Feast of St. Stephen

Feast of the Holy Innocents

 

Celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family

On December 27, we celebrate the Feast of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the Holy Family. Celebrate your family by making a very simple “family tree” with photos of each person in your family. Talk with younger children about what it means to be a family. Include the date of your wedding anniversary as the “birthday” of your family.

You may also want to think about making a family pilgrimage on the Jubilee of Families, which is also celebrated today (see below).

 

Celebrate Mary and world peace on January 1

January 1 is not only New Year’s Day, but the Octave Day of Christmas, the Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God, and the Church’s World Day of Peace.

Celebrate the Solemnity of Mary and the Octave of Christmas by attending Mass (it’s such an important day, Catholics are obliged to celebrate Mass). When you get home from Mass, incorporate a special Mary-themed treat into your New Year’s Day meal; you will find a whole list of ideas at Catholic Cuisine.

You can share the pope’s message for the World Day of Peace by downloading the full text of his message or a shorter summary from the USCCB World Day of Peace web page. Also consider praying a rosary for world peace.

 

Do a family “examen” of the year

On January 1, use the format of the Ignatian Daily Examen to do an “examen” of the life of your family in the past year. If praying the examen is too formal, go through your calendar month by month, talking about the biggest events. Or go through family photos month by month. As you share memories, talk about Highs and Lows.

 

Bless your home and household on Epiphany

It is traditional to bless your home and household on the Feast of the Epiphany, perhaps because of the Biblical reference to the three kings entering the home where the Holy Family was staying in order to worship the Christ child there. You can find an Epiphany blessing of the home in Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers (or at the USCCB website).

A more traditional form of the Epiphany blessing involves using blessed chalk to write the letters C, M, and B, plus the year, above the main entrance to the home (or above the door to each room in the house), like so: 20 + C + M + B + 16. The letters are the initials of the traditional names of the three magi: Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar. They also represent the Latin words Christus mansionem benedicat, which means: “May Christ bless the house.” Of course, the + represents the cross. You can find a ritual for this blessing at the Order of Carmelites.

 

Send the magi on a journey through your house

If you have a manger set, bring out the three kings on Christmas Day—but instead of placing them at the manger right away, put them somewhere else in your house so that they can journey to the manger over the twelve days between Christmas Day and the traditional date for the Feast of the Epiphany (January 6).

You can have the three kings move to a different room or area of your house on each day. Let your kids search for them every morning; when they find them, say to your kids: “The wise men are searching for Jesus in ___ (the dining room, your bedroom, etc.). How can we show the magi that Jesus is present in this place?” Brainstorm examples of Christian behavior in the particular place, then close with a short prayer:

“O holy magi, help us to see Christ in this place, and make it holy in all we say and all we do here. Amen.”

 

Hold a procession of the magi

On the Feast of the Epiphany, read the Gospel account of the visit of the three wise men (see Matthew 2:1-12), then have your children march through the house holding the figures of the three kings and singing “We Three Kings.”

 

Eat King’s Cake

A popular Epiphany tradition in many cultures, the King’s Cake (or King Cake) is a sweet cake in which a small figure of the baby Jesus is hidden. Searching for the baby Jesus in the cake imitates the Magi’s search for the baby Jesus. You can find great recipes for King’s Cake, along with some cultural background, over at Catholic Cuisine.

 

Celebrate Twelfth Night

Twelfth Night is a largely forgotten traditional celebration held on the twelfth night of the Christmas season, January 6—the traditional date of Epiphany before the liturgical reforms of Vatican II.

Over at Catholic Cuisine, they have a complete and comprehensive plan for a Twelve Days of Christmas themed dinner feast that features twelve courses, including partridge in a pear tree pie. You can also find an extensive history, as well as some traditional ways of celebrating, at Fish Eaters.

 

Celebrate the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord

The Feast of the Baptism of the Lord marks the end of the Christmas season and the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry.

It’s also the perfect time to remember your kids’ baptisms, and to talk about what that means: “Did you know you were baptized, too, just like Jesus?” Tell the story of your child’s baptism. What was the most memorable moment? Why did you ask to have your child baptized? What promises did you have to make? Pull out anything related to your kids’ baptism: a baptismal gown, candle, pictures, or video.

Using fabric markers, make a tablecloth celebrating baptism containing the baptismal dates of everyone in the family; bring it out for meals on the anniversary of each person’s baptism.

 

Wish people a merry Christmas

Model the Christmas spirit for your kids by wishing people a merry Christmas throughout the whole Christmas season.

 

 

Non-religious (but really great) Christmas traditions

 

Eat a special Christmas Eve dinner

Different families develop their own Christmas Eve meal traditions, but if you are looking for a traditional meal to latch onto and you happen to be of French descent, consider holding a réveillon, a long dinner full of sumptuous foods. If you are Italian, try the Feast of Seven Fishes, a meal featuring seven courses of seafood. Poles, meanwhile, celebrate a Wigiliameal.

 

Cut your own Christmas tree

“Cut your own” tree farms are proliferating; many offer other fun winter activities besides picking and cutting your own tree. If the weather is nice, you can make a day of it. You can find a Christmas tree farm near you at this website.

 

Make your own Christmas tree ornaments

If you’re just getting started with your family Christmas traditions, try making your own Christmas tree ornaments. If you have kept your tree as a super-simple Advent tree, then this might be a good activity for later in the day on Christmas Day.

There are so many great ideas for homemade ornaments online, we’re not going to attempt to provide a complete guide here. However, if you’re going to let your young children be involved (a great idea!) and if you care at all what your tree looks like, you’re going to want to choose simple decorations that are going to look pretty good no matter how your kids do with them. Some suggestions that caught our eye:

  • Classic or fancy paper chains. Google “fancy paper chain” for a cool twist on this classic childhood ornament. If you go classic, personalize your paper chain with words (Christmas greetings or Bible verses) or art from each family member.
  • Ribbon chains. Like a paper chain, but made from ribbons.
  • Natural ornaments. Go foraging outdoors for natural objects to make into Christmas ornaments (respecting natural environments and any applicable laws). Ideas for natural ornaments include pine cones (decorated or plain), shells, dried grasses braided into decorative ropes, stones (polished and hot-glued to string or hangers), dried flowers, sea glass, twigs fastened together to make stars and snowflakes, and so on.
  • Strings of fruit and popcorn. String cranberries, popcorn, and other dried fruits and nuts (dried orange wheels, shelled peanuts), then bring the strings outside for a tasty Christmas treat for the wild critters around your house.
  • Salt dough ornaments. Homemade salt dough is easy to make and fun to play with; when the dough hardens, you can paint it to make your own ornaments.
  • Paper snowflakes and other ornaments. For a twist, try making 3D paper stars and snowflakes.
  • Edible ornaments. Candy canes, gumdrops, and other hard candies look pretty strung on a tree.

 

Christmas Eve luminaries

In Spanish-speaking countries and parts of the southwestern United States, it is traditional to set out luminaries—candles set in paper bags weighted with sand—on Christmas Eve. It is said that the lights are meant to invite Christ, the light of the world, into the home. Probably the tradition is just as much about making a pretty and interesting light display in a season of darkness.

Family Life: Griswald Family Traditions

by Ray Martin

Every year my brother and I exchange a phone call on Christmas to say, “Merry Christmas, $h!tt#r’s full!”  Christmas Vacation is one of our favorite movies and we grew up watching it together every year.  My kids and I quote the movie year round!  I love the opening scene where they go to get their tree out in the woods…decorating the house with too many lights, having the big sit down dinner, waiting on the holiday bonus, etc.  I think that a great point is raised by Clark’s extreme nature in that we tend to do some things each year just to do them or because it’s what we’ve always done, but in reality they may not be all that healthy for our family.  So in the great Griswald family tradition we’re gonna discuss…drum roll please…drum roll…rituals!

The Marriage Shield – Faith Devotion

by Ray Martin

If someone told me that there was a simple solution out there that relieved anxiety, fear, depression, and was known to strengthen my marriage to the point that it was less likely to break down, I’d be like, “how do I buy a bottle of that?!?”  The truth is that it’s not a pill or product, but rather an uncomplicated thing that we all can do: pray.  Prayer is a powerful tool.

In this final installment of The Marriage Shield we come to the third F: Faith Devotion.  Previously we covered fidelity and fiscal stewardship, but faith is the magic ingredient that has such a profound influence on our behavior that it guides our choices to be faithful to our marriage and responsible stewards of our finances.

Time For Family

In The Choice Wine Steve Bollman’s father-in-law, Riley Leggett, advised him to sit with his family in church every Sunday.  This wisdom has a profound impact on a family.  Couples attending weekly church services have a divorce rate 60% lower than those who never attend church services.  Why?  Because going to church changes the behaviors that lead to divorce: infidelity, using money foolishly, and substance abuse which all decrease significantly when you regularly worship with your community.

Prayer changes the functioning of the brain during and afterwards:

  • It reduces anger, fear, and anxiety.
  • Makes one more empathetic and compassionate.
  • Strengthens a person’s sense of self.
  • Leads to lower levels of loneliness, depression, anxiety; less substance abuse.
  • Prayer changes you, which changes your marriage.

Statistically Protecting Your Marriage

The General Social Survey used in The Choice Wine found a baseline of close to 30% experiencing a marital breakdown, but this included newlyweds.  The national average today is closer to 40% or more, but here’s the statistical rundown of how The Marriage Shield protects your relationship:

  1. Couples who don’t cohabitate prior to marriage and are faithful reduce the likelihood of marital breakdown from around 30% down to only 11%.  This is why infidelity is the greatest threat to your relationship.
  2. Attending weekly worship drops the rate to 9% and praying daily takes it down to 5.9%.
  3. Many who are fiscally responsible have earned a certification or bachelor’s degree and combining that with fidelity and faith brings the probability down to nearly zero.  Considering that the foolish use of money is the second leading cause of marital breakdown it makes sense.

Sex, Money, And Religion

The Marriage Shield covers three topics people don’t like to talk about, but that’s because they are the leading causes of problems in a relationship.  Steve Bollman says that nailing these three areas of your life will nearly divorce proof your marriage because they substantially lower the probability of a marital breakdown.  In our first discussion on The Marriage Shield, we covered that married people are generally happier, healthier, and wealthier than average.  Spending time at the dinner table proved to not only save us money, but is also a huge benefit to our children which is why protecting marriage is so critical to the future of our community making it all the more important to protect following the three F’s:

  1. Fidelity
  2. Fiscal Stewardship
  3. Faith Devotion

Faith is that intangible spirit that changes us into better spouses.  I hope that you will take the three F’s to heart and think about the wisdom shared by Riley Leggett that we should be eating with our family each night and going to church with them every Sunday and I can’t stress enough how important it is to be engaged in your church community who is here to cheer on your family life.  Change and habits are hard to break, but little changes every day will keep you on the path to a lifelong, holy marriage.

Resources: The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman of Paradisus Dei

<—Part III Fiscal Stewardship

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The Marriage Shield – Fiscal Stewardship


by Ray Martin

I’m one of those cheap people, like I don’t usually drink soda at a restaurant because I can get it cheaper at the store (and let’s be honest, I don’t need the calories!) I love buying used stuff on Ebay or at Pawn Shops. I drive a car that was wrecked and rebuilt. I eat most meals at home and bring groceries to my office on Monday to make sandwiches all week for lunch. I even cut my own hair…well what’s left to cut. It’s not that I’m broke, I just don’t like wasting money on things that that I can get for less or do myself, but who knew that being cheap could be good for your marriage?

Protecting Your Marriage

In case you missed our introduction to The Marriage Shield, you can go back and read or watch it to get an idea of why it’s important to keep a relationship together and what it takes to do so. In our last episode on fidelity, we discussed our vows one of which applies to this topic “for richer or for poorer”. Today we will focus on the second of three “F’s” in protecting your marriage, fiscal stewardship.

Financial stress is the leading cause for tension in a marriage, especially for newlyweds as they try to navigate this new blending of income and spending. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, using money foolishly is the second leading cause for women to end a marriage tripling the likelihood of marital breakdown. Even though it’s not as big of an issue for men, misuse of finances is a top cause of tension in a relationship. So when we talk about keeping a marriage together for life, fiscal stewardship is a priority because not being responsible with your money is a serious threat to a relationship.

Marital Tension

Financial stress can be particularly intense during the newlywed period when the couple try to blend two lifestyles and two bank accounts into one household. The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman highlights how the top issues causing tension for newlyweds relate to money:

  1. Preexisting debt
  2. Balancing work and marriage
  3. Husband’s job
  4. Financial Decision Making

Credit card debt, car loans, student loans, and medical expenses are the four areas of preexisting debt that cause stress. The top purchased categories on credit cards are clothing, gasoline, eating out, and travel which are consumable goods and therefore not the best choice for debt which should really be used in cases of investments like a home or an education. Brain imaging reveals that when a person considers buying something a reward is anticipated in the circuitry of the brain, but when considering paying for the purchase a pain region is anticipated. Credit cards were designed to delay the activation of the pain in our brain until after the purchase is made. The problem for a marriage with all of this is that studies indicate that debt and financial stress lead to lower levels of marital satisfaction and increase levels of marital discord. Needless to say, debt is a threat to marriages, but Americans continue to accumulate debt at historic levels.

Work Life Balance

The average full-time worker in the U.S. works approximately 47 hours per week and just over 1,700 hours per year. Riley Leggett’s wisdom about eating dinner with your family every evening is very difficult to do with that kind of workload. 69% of workers check their work email before going to bed. 57% of teenagers eat dinner together with their families at least five nights a week or more. The average worker spends an additional seven hours per week working from home. Technology has given us an unprecedented challenge making it all the more important to be intentional in balancing our professional and domestic worlds.

Here’s what’s at stake, youth who eat dinner with their family five nights a week or more are:

  • Twice as likely to spend at least 21 hours with their parents during the week
  • 60% less likely to have parents who argue a great deal
  • 30% less likely to feel a great deal of stress in their lives
  • One and a half more times likely to say that their parents are proud of them
  • 30% more likely to have an excellent relationship with their mother
  • 60% more likely to have an excellent relationship with their father
  • 40% more likely to confide in their parents with a serious problem
  • One-third less likely to have tried alcohol
  • 60% less likely to have tried marijuana
  • 70% less likely to use illegal drugs or misuse prescription drugs
  • 23% more likely to be have A’s and B’s in school
  • 20% less likely to have friends who have tried drugs
  • Half as likely to have parents who do not know their children’s friends well.

Save To Give

Our brains are wired to be charitable. We receive a reward in that same circuitry that guides us to buy something when we give. People who are charitable tend to be happier and healthier than average. The more that we save, the more that we can give. Riley Leggett was onto something with this eating with your family philosophy because over an 18 year period skipping one night out of fast food would save you over $37,800 which could equate to an average four year tuition at a state university.

In order to be able to give more, here are some of Steve Bollman’s tips on being a better steward of your money:

  1. Give the first fruits of your labor to God recognizing that all we have is a gift.
  2. Keep $8 in your wallet that you must give away.
  3. Moderate your consumption of media. Not only will you save subscription costs, but it’s full of advertising propaganda on all of the things you just have to buy!
  4. Live within your means.
  5. Cut up credit cards until they are paid off.
  6. Reduce entertainment expenses by eating more meals at home and enjoy nature as recreation.
  7. Begin saving and gradually increase the amount.

The way we manage spending and finances have tremendous influence on the success of a life-long marriage. Debt and working too much causes stress and tension and limits our ability to spend time with our children which has an exponential effect on their success. Making sacrifices by not buying things that are outside of our means and eating more meals together with our family will greatly reduce the risk of marital breakdown and increase the joy in your family which is why Fiscal Stewardship is the second F of The Marriage Shield.

Resources: The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman of Paradisus Dei

<—Part II Fidelity                                                             Part IV Faith Devotion—>

 

 

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The Marriage Shield – Fidelity

by Ray Martin
If you missed our introduction to The Marriage Shield, I encourage you to go back and read or watch it to get an idea of why it’s important to keep a relationship together and what it takes to do so.  Today we will focus on the first of three “F’s” in protecting your marriage, fidelity.  Infidelity is the surest way to break down a marriage.  According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, Infidelity is the number one cause of a marriage ending.  It increases the likelihood of marital breakdown by 300% or in other words, the probability is quadrupled.  So when we talk about keeping a marriage together for life, fidelity is a priority because not being faithful is the biggest threat to a relationship.

What did we promise when we got married?

We hear from the very start of creation that God made man and woman to be lifelong partners where the “two become one flesh”. (Genesis 2:24)  Let’s go back to the wedding itself and see what it specifically is that we do or say that supports God’s plan for us and how we can keep it together.

The first step shared in The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman is to “Honor your wedding vows.”  It’s not surprising that many people don’t actually remember the vows themselves.  These days there is so much focus on the party of the reception that much of the wedding ceremony is quickly forgotten, but to refresh your memory we say:

“I take you to be my lawful (husband/wife) for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

If you go back to our first installment of this series we discussed the “marriage premium” findings Bollman shared that married people are happier, wealthier, and healthier than average and that’s similar to what we promise when we say, “for better or for worse” which speaks to our happiness, “richer and poorer” is obviously tied to wealth, and “in sickness and in health” refers to our physical wellness.  We promise in our vows that regardless of our happiness, financial status, or health, that we will be faithful to the union that is joined together during the sacrament of our marriage.

Questions of Consent

In addition to our vows, we also answered three questions of consent:

  1. Do you come here freely without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
  2. Will you love and honor each other as husband and wife all the days of your life?
  3. Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his church?

It’s no surprise that one of these questions has to do with honor.  The first is simply asking if there has been any coercion or if you are in a state to give yourself to your spouse.  The third question regarding children could be it’s own topic for discussion because fertility and being open to children in various forms is a challenging topic in our culture, but when it comes to honor, being faithful to your vows is pretty obvious.  If you go back to the wisdom of Riley Leggett shared in The Choice Wine which was to eat dinner with your family every night and sit with them every Sunday at Church, it’s easy to see how difficult it would be NOT to honor your spouse by spending that intentional time with them and being in a culture with your church community that supports marriage and family.

What Did Jesus Say about Marriage?

Let’s close with a few things found in scripture about fidelity.  Jesus preached to a crowd and it’s known today as the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew Chapter 5.  During that sermon he said, “You have heard that it was said ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  Leave it to Christ to raise the bar on the definition of cheating!  He also went on to dig his heels in regarding divorce “ But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”  Later on in his ministry, church leaders known as Pharisees questioned him about the Jewish rules on divorce and he responded, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female? and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”  And finally back at that sermon on the mount Jesus commented on keeping your word which I think sums up all that really needs to be said on fidelity, it says in Matthew 5:37, “Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.  Anything more is from the evil one.”

If protecting your marriage is important to you in order to honor the union that God has joined together then fidelity is the most important thing you can do and why it’s the first “F” of The Marriage Shield.

Resources: The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman of Paradisus Dei

<—Part I The Marriage Shield                                 Part III Fiscal Stewardship—>

 

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Family Life: The Marriage Shield

by Ray Martin
What if there were a couple of simple things you could change about your relationship that could almost guarantee that your marriage would last a lifetime?  Could it be that easy?  Would you do it?

My grandparents were blessed to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary which was an even bigger deal since it was my grandmother’s second marriage and my grandpa’s third!  I recall how meaningful it was for them to have made it to that milestone.  When my mom passed away, I was the bearer of giving them the news and it was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do, but what was so touching was how they stayed up all night together sharing memories of her entire life.  I want that kind of relationship with my wife, to be there with her even in the midst of pain and sorrow, but how do people keep their marriages together over the course of a lifetime and why should we when relationships can be difficult to maintain?

Happier, Healthier And Wealthier

Steve Bollman, author of The Choice Wine which is a book and video series that highlights seven steps to what they call a superabundant marriage, begins by sharing research on the benefits to getting married and staying married.  He refers to the statistical data as a marriage premium meaning that married people seem to benefit greatly by being married.

  • Happiness: married people are happier than single, divorced, separated, or widowed people according to the General Social Survey, 1972-2012.
  • Health: People who have never been married have a 75% increase in poor health and those divorced have a 90% increase compared to those who are married according to the General Social Survey.
  • Wealth: Married individuals accumulate approximately four times the net wealth of those who have never been married or who are divorced according to the Journal of Marriage and Family’s study in 2002.

How To Reduce The Likelihood of Marital Breakdown

Bollman refers to the first three steps in The Choice Wine as a way to nearly Divorce-Proof your marriage meaning that statistically, the likelihood of getting divorced is nearly zero when following these behaviors discovered through the research of successful couples.  Over the next few weeks we will be going in more depth to these specific steps which I’ll conveniently call three “F’s” of Marriage Shielding:

  1. Fidelity
  2. Fiscal Stewardship
  3. Faith Devotion

The Legacy of Riley Leggett

Riley Leggett was Bollman’s father-in-law and is referenced throughout The Choice Wine.  Riley offered Steve some advice before getting married to his daughter that if he would eat dinner with his family every evening and sit with his family every Sunday at church, then their marriage was guaranteed to work out.  While this sounds almost trite or too simple, there is a lot of wisdom in this message.

  • Only 7% of families who eat dinner together five or more times a week experience a “great deal of tension.”  (Columbia University September 2005)
  • Only 17% of those who attend worship services on a weekly basis have been divorced.  (General Social Survey 1972-2012)

I hope that you’ll stick with me as we review these three F’s or what The Choice Wine calls their first 3 steps which dramatically reduce the probability of a marital breakdown over the next few installments of this series.  If you haven’t read or watched The Choice Wine, I highly encourage you to check it out.  More information can be found at www.thechoicewine.com.

Resources: The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman of Paradisus Dei

Part II Fidelity—>

 

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Family Life: Spirits and Saints

by Ray Martin

Halloween is almost here and kids start getting all freaked out about ghosts and all of the evil characters from horror movies, but we can confidently say as parents that there’s no such things as ghosts, right?  After all we’re just organisms that developed over time from other species, but wait that’s evolution…and the bible says God created us, and then there’s the bible stories about angels and they’re okay, but when we die we die…except for the saints…who went to heaven and we pray for their help, but they’re not ghosts…I’m so confused!

Creation Vs. Evolution

There’s a seven step marriage book and video series called The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman of Pardisus Dei, the same company who made That Man is You.  Step four of The Choice Wine focuses attention on the conflict of science and reason versus religion and spirituality.  This is a highly argued topic that folks like to debate as if the right answer is one or the other, but there are scientists who wrestle with faith and have started out as atheists who then become believers through their research.

Charles Darwin’s writing in the late 1800’s on evolution are notably accepted as an explanation of how life developed on earth over millions of years, but this is not at odds with the creation story in Genesis.  Unlike the other animals and things created before, God both made and created man whom he “formed out of dust of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life.”  Nobel laureate Dr. John C. Eccles was a scientist from the 20th century who is credited with our current understanding of the brain and how thoughts travel across neurotransmitters.  We have a brain full of tiny paths, but the electrical currents traveling across those paths which are our thoughts come from our mind.  The brain is physical, but the mind is spiritual.  We can be made up of physical matter which evolved over time, and also be spiritual creations formed by a spiritual being, God.

Bollman in The Choice Wine goes on to share an analogy he heard to explain this using a cell phone.  All cell phones are tuned to a specific frequency.  We can see the phone, but not the cellular waves.  My phone is specifically tuned to my number, so it only rings or alerts me when someone calls or texts my number.  The brain & mind work like this as well.  The brain is activated by the mind which is tuned specifically to that person.  Evolution and biology can explain where our bodies come from, but not the origin of our minds.  Now back to the phone analogy, the frequencies tuned specifically to my phone exist even though they aren’t visible and if something happens to my phone like it breaks or is destroyed, people can still send text messages to my frequency.  My phone isn’t going to receive them anymore because it’s broken, but the frequencies tuned to me are still there.  This is a good way to think about what happens when we die.  Our mind is not made up of elements or matter.  It’s spiritual and so our body dies and returns to dust, but our spirit, our unique radio frequencies still exist.  They’re still out there.

Communion of Saints

This brings us to saints.  In the creed that we proclaim every weekend during Mass we say that we believe in the communion of saints.  St. Paul taught that we are one body in Christ both the living and the dead and so as Catholics we believe our spirits are in union with the spirits of those who are no longer living on earth.  How can we do that?  Even though their cell phones died and aren’t able to receive a call anymore, their unique frequency created by God is still out there among us and we can still call upon them through prayer.  We have to use a different means of spiritual communication but we acknowledge this when we come together as a community at Mass and you hear the priest say, “in union with all the angels and saints we exalt and bless your name and sing the hymn of your glory as without end we acclaim…”  In that moment we are placing our minds in the company of the minds of those saints and angels.  We do that at every Mass!

So, if you can accept that we are more than biology, that we have a brain and a mind, and that even when our brain dies that our spirit continues to exist, then it’s not so hard to believe that there are other people who have died, but lived such virtuous lives that we know without a doubt that they had to have gone to heaven.  Those people are the saints of the Church.  Is it a stretch then to think that through prayer we could ask those servants of Christ who have gone before us to still help us out?  This is why we honor saints through celebrations and feasts.  Their lives are examples to us of how to live the Christian virtues in our faith journey and we consider our minds to still exist in a spiritual along realm with theirs.

Saint of the Day

There are a ton of resources out there on saints, but one in particular that I have been enjoying is the saint of the day from Franciscan Media.  There is a link to it on the homepage of our website as well as in our mobile app.  There is an audio file that you can listen to or you can simply read their article on the featured saint of that day.  Our Catholic calendars that we get every year also have feast days of saints listed on them and you will note if you go to daily Masses or watch ours streamed online that the vestments worn by priests will often reflect a special feast from a saint who may have been a martyr.  You’ll see a priest wear red on that particular day.  Our priests will often talk about saints during their homilies.  Fr. Michael in the past two weeks has mentioned St. Faustina and St. Augustine.

Quick story- I was reading 33 Days To Merciful Love by Fr. Michael Gaitley on the life of St. Therese of Lisieux referred to as the Little Flower.  She is known as a Doctor of The Church because of her writing on Divine Mercy and her philosophy called the Little Way which is a path for us to get to heaven by recognizing our littleness, trusting God, and striving for holiness.  While alive, she said that when she died she wanted to shower the world with flowers, roses specifically, so she is known for roses and people often think of her and ask for signs from her in the form of roses.  While reading about her I began to pray her novena which has reflections weaved into the 9 days of rosaries.  One day during that novena, a woman came into the office here at the Parish and asked if we could do anything with these roses that she had left over from a wedding and we gladly helped her bring them in…box after box, hundreds of roses made their way into our Parish office!  What’s even better is that I had been praying specifically for one of my children and she brought one of the flowers to my office which I dried and kept as a reminder that St. Therese heard my prayer.

All Saints Day

We celebrate All Saints Day on November 1st.  We will have Masses throughout the day and I highly encourage you to attend, not out of obligation because I really dislike that term, but come because you want to celebrate this rich history of heroic people who lived here on earth just like us and left us an incredible witness of how follow Christ all the way to heaven.  If you want to start learning more about saints, start checking out the saint of the day that we link to from our website and app.  Perhaps there’s one that you may want to read more about?  The 33 Days to Merciful Love was a terrific read, so maybe that would be a good one to start with.  We are so lucky to have the Hall of Fame of Holiness as Fr. Michael likes to refer to the saints.

Hopefully the next time people are talking about creation and evolution you will feel more comfortable being okay with both.  There’s nothing wrong with believing in science and religion!  And as we celebrate the feast of All Saints, I pray that you will start to talk about and learn more about the many saints of our Church.

 

Resources: The Choice Wine by Steve Bollman and 33 Days to Merciful Love by Fr. Michael Gaitley

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Family Life: Weirdos

by Ray Martin

You know the people with the bumper stickers, the rosaries on their rear view mirrors, the one’s who don’t have cable TV and spend too much time helping out at the soup kitchen?  They even go to midnight Mass for Christmas, what is up with those WEIRDOS!?!  Well they’re probably a strong Catholic family which is so counter-cultural that it seems flat out strange.  It takes more than a bobble-head of Jesus on your dash to be an effective Catholic family and that’s what we’re highlighting, the qualities that make a Catholic family great!

A Family Life Worth Repeating

In their book, Discovering God Together, Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcek offer ways to raise children to be faithful Catholic Adults.  They say that parents must “give (their children) an example of Catholic family life that is worth repeating in adulthood.”

  1. Parents have to offer a home life experience that appears to be better, not perfect, but more honest, intimate, generous and joy filled than their non-Catholic friends experience.
  2. Children have to come to understand that it is their parents’ love for Jesus Christ and their Catholic faith that are responsible for that experience.

This is obviously going to be a home life that looks very different than a secular or even non-Catholic but Christian household.

Rituals And Routines

Fortunately, our Catholic faith offers a liturgical calendar full of feast and holy days which become the rhythm of our lives.  They help us keep a tempo for the seasons of our spirituality touching all of the important aspects of our life in Christ.  This regular and repeated activity provides the opportunity for us to bond with one another and our community through the rituals of annual holidays, special celebrations of sacraments, and growth in discipleship.  This repetition forms strong and healthy attachment of children to their parents, a significant factor that will cause them to turn to their parents in times of trouble or to make good decisions as teens and adults.

Attachment is an emerging term in parenting and when children have healthy attachment with their parents, they go to them when they have problems.  They also make good decisions for themselves because they have good self-esteem.  What we see so often in children today however is low feelings of self-worth and rather than make good decisions, they turn to anything that will make them feel better in the moment.  Healthy attachment is a huge factor in helping children grow up to be successful adults.  So when we talk about routines in the church that provide people comfort, it’s because those repeated holidays, seasons, and traditions drive the attachment of children with their family.

Work, Play, Talk, Pray

  • Strong Catholic families work together in daily chores and projects around their home and community.
  • Playing together with fun activities like game nights or special celebrations like birthdays help bond the family’s relationships.
  • Catholic parents talk with their children and are considered to be spiritual directors of the household.
  • Regular rituals of prayer such as mealtimes or bedtime blessings in addition to weekly Mass.

Worshiping together weaves your faith throughout your daily life connecting God with your family.

In Summary Great Catholic Families:

  1. Worship Together– The Eucharist is our source of love we celebrate at Mass together.
  2. Pray Together– we live out our faith everyday through our relationship with God and our family.
  3. Are Intimate– being open and loving with one another.
  4. Put Family First– our family life is the most important activity in our week.
  5. Are A Witness & Sign– God changes the world through the example of our families.

Take these five examples of ways to make your family great and go change the world!

Sources: Discovering God Together by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcek

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Family Life: Marital Conflict

by Ray Martin


Believe it or not, it is possible to have a disagreement with your spouse and come away feeling more in love with each other, but just like we all have different love preferences, we do not all have the same style of arguing.  In their book, “Just Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving the First Five Years of Marriage”, Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcek identify ways we can get through these heated moments so that you both come away having solved a problem together rather than tear each other down and allow it to blow over in hopes that it will not happen again.  So that’s what we’re working on today…arguing!

Take Care Of One Another

Oh man, I grew up in a house where most family gatherings ended in a knock down drag out fight with yelling and people getting in their cars screeching out of the driveway all in a huff.  It’s part of the reason that as an adult I avoid conflict as much as I can and I don’t look forward to most holidays.  I have this uneasy feeling about them as if things are just going to blow up by the end of the occasion.

It may sound crazy, but most disagreements can be solved when both people involved feel respected and cared for.  Well how do we do that?  Try asking if it’s a good time to talk about something, or bring your spouse their favorite snack or a beverage before going into it might be a great way to start.

What’s The Problem?

It’s important to identify the real problem.  Here is an example: recently I was being really grumpy with my wife, Brandi.  She had been on the Christ Renews retreat all weekend and the very next night was full of activities for one of our kids and the minute she got home, she was rolling back out.  She could tell that I was crabby and so she asked what was going on.  After a litany of my complaints about the amount of childcare I had been doing and work around the house, I finally got to the real matter which was that I simply missed her and wanted to spend time with her.  Now that’s an actual problem to solve than my bad attitude and complaints.  

Praying about the real problem and coming up with a solution are next steps, but you can’t do that until you’ve identified the actual issue from a calm and rational perspective.  It’s totally ok to take breaks if the conversation heats up because conflict is rarely resolved through yelling, but once both of you are back under control, it’s important to resolve the situation or it will come back.

Four Horsemen of  Marital-Communication Collapse

This leads me to what the Popceks call the “Four Horsemen” of communication collapse in marriages.

  • Criticism: complaints turned into personal attacks
  • Defensiveness: an immediate response that turns attention back at the other spouse
  • Contempt: comments that tear down the other partner or make them feel small
  • Stonewalling: one simply shuts down or stops participating in the conversation

Reflect Next Time

Feel free to print out the list above and hang it somewhere easy to find or refer back to it.  Next time you get into a disagreement or have a problem to solve go back and try to use some of these techniques to solve the problem together.  It’s worth a try.  Most couples don’t like to talk about conflict, but it’s a reality in any relationship.  The most important thing to keep in mind is praying for and forgiving one another.  Allowing an unresolved issue to continue to resurface will cause bitterness to develop.  Prayer, forgiveness, and tactical problem solving will ensure that you and your spouse continue to grow in love.

Sources: First Married: The Catholic Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the First Five Years of Marriage by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcek

 

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